Unavailable.

Just like that, she retreats to her home realm
her figure in the ocean,
her spirit by the stars,
her remnants with the winds

I have expended much of myself without actively replenishing. My inner being is chaotically housing a frantic shell and crinkled soul. As much as I like to be with people, a time of solitude is necessary for me to develop some introspection and to fill myself back with self-love. So for now, I am unavailable.

It’s tough to remain positive and grateful in dark times, but thanks to the nature of this blog, I am forced to reflect on the good as well. Thanks for keeping me afloat, dear blog. Also, thanks, random photo grid of people in my camera roll, for helping me see my end goals and motivating me to push forward. Cheers to future simple words of gratitude.

Love,
Connie

Giving Thanks 

When having a blog about giving thanks, what better day to write an entry than on Thanksgiving?! 

I thank my past, for shaping me to be who I am today. I must say I didn’t always make the best decisions for myself. But then again, without those decisions, I wouldn’t be who I am today. 

I thank my present. I see my current situation and am content. I’m at a good position of growth and aim to live on with the growth mindset and making today the best day it can be, so it sets the tone for tomorrow. There are days that are tougher than others, but the challenges promote growth.

I thank my future. I trust that no matter what decisions I made in the past, and what decisions I make in the now, my future will be (at least) okay.

I thank the people (and pets) in my life, online and offline – loved ones, acquaintances, and strangers – all who came and went, and those who are still in my life now. Thank you for impacting my life. 

I thank me, for having a healthy body, mind, and soul. We’re all in this together, so let’s keep supporting each other through our hardships and accomplishments! 

Finally, I thank life. I thank life for giving me the identity I have, for giving me the home I have. I thank life for the beautiful places and nature. I thank life for allowing me to perceive everything the world has to offer. 

Happy Thanksgiving! Wishing everyone a wonderful holiday filled with love, happiness, blessings, and fun! Stay safe. I love you all! ❤️

How Do You “Unlove” Someone?

You don’t.

Don’t resist. Don’t force.
Simply wish them love and peace
Even from afar.

The way I’m interpreting this question is: How do I stop loving someone because they are no longer in my life and I need to move on? The piece above is my response.

I believe love takes on many different facets of emotions and actions, and its shape is individually unique in every relationship. Love is fluid, its dynamics can shift, and it isn’t mutually exclusive with anything. We can continue to love those from our past without hurting ourselves by wishing them love, backed by the acknowledgement that we are better off and happier without them. Therefore, I don’t believe in “unloving” someone.

Thanks, dear friend, for asking me this interesting question and for reminding me how far I’ve come. I hope my answer is helpful and brings in some new perspective to you. It is possible to move on while loving people of our past. With that said, you’ll get out of the rut you’re stuck in. You’ll be fine.

Teaching Takeaway

Teaching Takeaway

I volunteered to teach English in Taiwan for three weeks. This was one of the best experiences that I’ve had in my life. Even though my role was teaching, I’ve learned so much through this opportunity.

The biggest lesson/reminder: find joy in the little things. My 7th and 8th graders had fun with pretty much anything (pencils, rubber bands, rulers, mini toy figurines, etc.) and it was amazing how easily amused and energetic they were. I believe we all have the inner child in us. But, as we mature, we absorb a lot of external pressure from our upbringings, societal norms, and social media, to the point where many of us become so conscious of what other people think that we eventually let others dictate our lives. These kids? Didn’t give a fuck. And that is awesome.

Let us remember the times when we were young and curious. Let us grow without shutting off our inner child.

Thank you, my dear students, for showing me authenticity, innocence, curiosity, and simple happiness. You may not know it, but I have learned so much from you guys, despite being the “teacher” in our classroom. All the best to you in your future! ❤

Gift -2-

Summer orchestrated 
a whimsical musicale,
connecting our notes.

My two weeks between Vietnam and Taiwan continue to leave a strong impression on me. I feel so blessed to have this story in my life: an international summer travel romance with a plot that could easily be the foundation of a best-selling novel or the best upcoming romance film. This poem is my way of expressing our story.

I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into when this gift was presented to me, and I could have rejected it. Yet, even though I knew that I would need to go through another round of healing afterwards, I gave it my all. I am glad that I did so, and I have no regrets. Through this experience, I realized that I am strong in the way that I can be vulnerable and love more than I will ever get back. Despite this, I love anyway, because I feel joy when I love, and the love overpowers the pain. To me, love is worth it.

Thank you for the amazing adventures. There are a million things I am thankful to you for, and you know already. You’re such an awesome person and an absolute sweetheart, I only wish you the best in life. Wherever you are and whatever you do, I will always be cheering for you. I love you.

With everything said, to whoever my next partner in crime is: if you accept me (and vice versa), then I will give you my all. You will receive my faithfulness and a love like no other. I (will) love you to the moon and back, looped infinitely. ❤