Disparity.

Myself & Them

“Listen to us.
We know what is best for you.”
My soul sobs as my shell becomes
spellbound by the songs of Them.
Ugh… Forget about being heard,
I only want equilibrium for myself.

I was recently introduced to the dynamic and mesmerizing world of fine art, thanks to a new friend who is quite active within the Los Angeles art community. While supporting him at his solo art show at the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood, I stumbled upon the art exhibit of Yu JinYoung, who’s sculptures represent the social disparities we are often exposed to throughout our lives. This series is called “Myself & Them.” The heavy feeling of responding to the outside world while taking care of our own inner world really resonated within me, as I questioned my life choices and potential trajectories, as well as my own influence throughout my social circle. Oh, the struggles of dealing with the words of others while treasuring the dreams of my inner being, and balancing life. Being human sure isn’t easy, but it’s a gift we must cherish and nurture to the best of our abilities.

Thanks,  Yu JinYoung, for welcoming me into your exhibition and allowing me to bond with your amazing pieces. Through my experience with your art, I am learning how to love myself in this world full of social disparities that continue to challenge my personal values. Also, a thank you to my new friend, for introducing me to his fascinating world. Cheers.

Fluke.

I recently had a short staycation at my home turf in Los Angeles. While the change of pace and setting was awesome, I had trouble finding my center and inner peace throughout the adventures. I had lots of fun, but my mind was constantly running a mile a minute. Even when “peacefully” hiking, or enthusiastically driving through the streets, or taking in the beautiful sights, I struggled internally. Looking at the photos, I could see that there was something wrong.

Why? What happened to me? Did I fake death? Or did fate play me?

Actually, there is no excuse, and no use in blaming other factors. Whenever we face obstacles (especially the ones that we create for ourselves), over and/or under the surface, it’s all on ourselves. Being imperfect, there are times when we want to go wild and have fun; and at other times, we just want to hide in our blankets and chill (or sob) on our own. And that’s completely okay. It’s all a part of being… human.

Truth is, because I’ve been thinking so much, I already know the answers to my questions. But today, I choose to own up to myself and go through this by treading forward.

Today, I thank the people who listen to my shit whenever I feel a hurdle. Even though I am emotionally drained, I will always have love to go around. It may be the bane of my existence, but I am willing to go through shit if that means maintaining my love for the people I care about. Thank you so much, guys. I love you. ❤

 

Porteon (Shelter Tour)

Porter Robinson x Madeon’s Shelter Tour was absolutely phenomenal, and was the best live show I have seen so far. The entire experience – the audio, visuals, storytelling, crowd and atmosphere – was amazing and unforgettable. Thanks, Porteon, for the incredible show.

I’ve always been curious about the EDM scene, and I’m so happy that I’ve explored it this year. This was arguably t-h-e EDM concert for fans to see this year, and I’m so grateful to have witnessed the two geniuses band together and take us through such a deep and relatable journey throughout their set. By the end of my experience, I had so many thoughts running through my head. The following are my takeaways:

1. Friendship: As a wanderer since little, I have met many people throughout my life, but building close bonds was always a struggle for me. It wasn’t until this year, post break up, when I started paying closer attention to my social network. For many years, I felt very alone despite always having someone to talk to. It didn’t help that I secluded myself for the four years that I was in a relationship, entirely relying on my companionship with my ex to fill my social life gap. That was a huge mistake on my end. Today, I am happy to have some very close friends of my own who I love dearly. Porter and Madeon’s collaboration made me realize how beautiful and meaningful friendship is, and how blessed I am to have friends to celebrate friendship with.

2. Unity: Yes, there were plenty of people on their phones recording and snapping snippets of the event. Heck, someone even recorded the entire show! But, there was unity in the atmosphere stronger than any other event I’ve been to, and that made the show even more impressive. Even though we are all different and have different views, for these few hours we all spent together, we were all united by a common interest, united by this beautiful pit stop we all made in our lives. I didn’t know 99.9% of the people there, but for a moment during the event, I felt one with everyone’s energy. It was an ironically peaceful feeling.

3. Interest: “What are your interests and hobbies?” This was a big question that I was embarrassed to not know the answer to for many years. Today, I’m very excited to have my own set of interests and hobbies. I knew this was an interest when I pretty much knew all of the songs (titles, too) that were played during the concert. I was first introduced to EDM at one of Madeon’s shows back in January earlier this year. I did not know a single song and had no idea what was going on nor what to do during his set. Seeing Madeon again and knowing every single song this time made me realize the level of impact that EDM has made in my life. I’m actually quite proud of myself for this – having a musical preference, going to an event that I really wanted to attend, and being able to dance (and sing) to every song. Good job, Connie.

For those who have read to this point, let’s take a moment to be thankful for our social group. Let’s also thank the artists we love for their hard work, passion, and ability to link people together. Thanks, Porter Robinson and Madeon, for the beautiful journey. Thanks, dear friends, for being by my side. I’m so happy and grateful to have you all in my life, and hope for many years of friendship to come. I love you all! ❤

 

p.s. I usually like to keep my entries shorter… But, writing this has given me immense joy. Sending out good vibes~